I went shoe shopping before the holidays.
I was looking for a pair of shoes that were cute, comfy and a good fit! I walked up and down the shoe aisles at Nordstrom Rack – even backtracking to look again! And then, there they were! The cutest pair of flats…right color, right style, right price…wrong size! I had without knowing it wandered down the wrong aisle! They were a half size too small.
But, I thought to myself, they might fit, as I took them down off the rack anyway! I held my breath and slipped my size 7 foot into this (seemingly) perfect size 6 ½ shoe. They were tight, but not awful. In my head I said, I could probably make these work if I didn’t wear socks, maybe. Or maybe, I thought, I could get them wet and they’d stretch? After talking myself into committing to these “perfect” shoes, I bought them, took them home and was ready for the event that I was going to attend.
The event came, I slipped my size 7 feet into these (seemingly) perfect size 6 ½ shoes and off I went. For the first hour they were Ok, a bit tight, a bit uncomfortable to walk in, but boy they were cute! The second hour of the evening started, and my feet hurt! I couldn’t walk without hobbling. I had a blister forming of the side of my toe. They no longer looked cute to me at all! All I could think about while visiting and chatting with friends was “when can I take off my shoes.” As soon as we got into the car to go home those shoes were off my feet. I walked into my house barefooted and placed these beautiful, perfect shoes into my closet. I have never worn them again.
Now, the shoes by themselves are GREAT SHOES! They are still a darling, beautiful pair of size 6 ½ flats. And my feet, well they are a terrific set of size 7 feet with well pedicured tootsies. J They just aren’t a good match! Good shoe, good foot, bad match!
We as women, often approach relationships like I did these shoes. We think that we can stretch, form, jam, squeeze and fit ourselves into another person who looks like the perfect person; but in doing so, we ignore the obvious issues.
When we ignore the obvious differences in relationships (and I mean any kind of relationship here – could by your best friend) we are setting ourselves up for pain and discomfort! When I was wearing that too small shoe, I never once asked “why does this shoe hurt so bad?” I already knew why!
Crystal McDowell writes (in her devotional from www.daughtersofthecreator.com)
“When we settle for less than the best, we are expecting partiality in our requests to God, especially in our relationships. It’s not that we are expecting people to be perfect because only Jesus is perfect. However, we do expect them (especially in dating relationships) to reflect the Lord’s presence in their lives by what they say and do.
Settling for less than the best is a key characteristic of a person who doesn’t feel that they are worthy of more. The Lord values each of His daughters and longs for us to see ourselves the way He sees us—of exceptional value and priceless. When we see ourselves this way, we will never settle for less than what God wants for us in our finances, relationships, and ministry. We will rise as women of faith destined for reflecting our Father’s glory.”
God holds us in the highest esteem; He wants nothing but the best for us; to continue with my story/metaphor – He wants us to have size 7 shoes for our size 7 feet! When we settle it’s usually a reflection of how WE view ourselves. It says to God, I don’t trust you. When we wait for the best, we view ourselves through HIS eyes, and it communicates to Him
“I TRUST YOU, GOD.”
If you are in a season where you are lonely and desiring friendship, look for the lady who lives a life that reflects Jesus! If you are looking for a husband, watch for the man who lives a life that reflects Jesus! If you are married to someone that feels like a size 6 ½ to your size 7 – stay strong!! God is at work! He can transform a caterpillar into a butterfly, so He can transform your 6 ½ into a 7! If you have a toxic friendship that leaves you wounded and hurt, take it off and lay that friend at the feet of Jesus and trust HIM to be her fixer!
Keep the faith, sweet sister! You are worthy, you are lovely, you are precious! You are a GREAT FOOT!
Written By Kristen Taylor