It’s so much easier to be kind and loving when the kiddos are behaving.
They give me a hug. I want to give a hug back. They want to cuddle. My heart melts. They break a lamp. I yell and become monster mom.
Please note: I am not always monster mom. But, she comes out in some trying moments. #keepingitreal
It’s in those moments of tantrums and deliberate disobedience that I have to exercise love and kindness.
My kiddos are toddlers. They’re learning how to behave. I’m an adult. They look to me as an example of how to behave.
If I yell because they frustrated me, what am I teaching them? I’m teaching them that it’s okay to yell when someone upsets you.
How many times have I told my son, “don’t yell at sister like that,” after she took his favorite hot wheel? Countless times. Probably a bazillion times. So, if my son decides it’s a great idea to draw on the couch with a sharpie or cause some sort of toddler tornado, should I yell? No. Does he need discipline? Yes. But, how would I want to be treated if I made a mistake?
- Be made aware of my mistake. I might not know I was doing anything wrong.
- Be told why it’s wrong. I need to know why it’s wrong, so when faced with something similar in the future, I don’t make it again.
- Be told what I can do to fix the mistake and/or how I can do better next time.
If this is how I want to be treated, I should treat my kiddos that way too.
Just because I pushed those babies out, doesn’t give me the right to disrespect them. I’m suppose to be teaching them to be awesome adults. If I have a bazillion outbursts of anger, most likely my kiddos are going to do the same. If I approach situations in love, my kiddos will learn to do the same. Don’t I want my kids to be loving? Yes. So, I need to be loving. I need to teach my kids that it’s difficult to love in hard, trying situations, but it’s totally possible. And I need to teach them by example.
Am I going to make mistakes along the way during my don’t-yell-when-I’m-frustrated journey? OH YES I AM. I’m a human being. So, I’m full of mistakes. It’s by God’s Grace I’m made new each day. I have a fresh start every morning (I need to teach my kiddos that too).
Even though I make mistakes, I can get back up and try again. I don’t need to let those mistakes take a tight grip on me and control my day/week/month/year/life. NO. That’s exactly what the devil wants. He wants to tear me down and tell me I’m not good enough because of my mistakes.
Satan. Not today!
I will let go of my mistakes by confessing them and giving them to God. Then, I’ll ask for Grace, not only from God, but also from my kids (set an example, right?!). And start fresh.
-Ludavia Harvey / www.themamaworkshop.com