My boys are darling. They are amazing, bright, funny, charming, and mischievous and the lights of my life. But there are days that I would consider giving them away. Parenting is no joke! It’s hard. Some days I slay it; I mean I go to bed and my husband and I give ourselves high fives because We. Nailed. It.
And then there are days like I had last week.
Daylight Savings Time, need I say more? We woke up late, we were tired, and it was dark out still for heaven’s sake! I asked my oldest, “how about eggs for breakfast” he nodded yes. I made the eggs. I placed the plate of said eggs in front of him and he immediately started whining and crying and making gagging noises, proclaiming that he never asked for eggs and he hates eggs.
Enter slight blood pressure increase here.
While this was happening, my youngest decided that he didn’t like long sleeves, or pants. He couldn’t possibly be forced to wear funny feeling long sleeves or soft pants (anything but jeans are called soft pants). So he decided to throw himself onto the floor and weep over how awful his mom is.
Temper begins to flare.
This continues on for the duration of the hour prior to leaving the house. As I called out, “time to load up” the crying, weeping, whining, negotiating IN STEREO increased!
You guys, I LOST IT! I threw my keys, I hollered back, I called them ungrateful and annoying, amongst other things, because in all honesty I was so mad I don’t remember!
We drove to school drop off in silence, well, except for God’s voice in my ears. The conviction was heavy! I was so ashamed.
At drop off, I apologized. I asked for forgiveness, and those two sweet little guys hugged me, kissed me, said “I love you mommy” and all was right in the world again!
It made me ponder, (as I cried out to God for His forgiveness and help as I drove onto work), the gift of forgiveness; the gift of clean slates and the gift of a daily experience with the Lord.
I wondered how many times I’ve deserved to be rebuked and yelled at by God; how many times He’s had to patiently watch me throw a tantrum over something that I thought He should do for me. and still He wakes me up with the gift of new mercies; He forgives me instantly for my outbursts, gives me a hug and an “I love you!” (Psalms 86:15)
Throughout the Old and New Testament we see a common thread of daily living; when manna fell from heaven it was enough to sustain the Israelites in the desert for one day, no more, no less. (Exodus 16:4) In Lamentations, the Bible tells us that God’s mercies are new every day (Lamentations 3:23)! In Matthew, Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow, to consider today only, and He shares what we know as The Lord’s Prayer, “…give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6)
He loves the idea of one day at a time, I think. He is so gracious to us. If we had to take things months at a time, or weeks at a time, we would give up trying to “get it right” When we fall, He’s waiting for us to stand back up and try again!
I think of my boys learning to walk. When they took those tentative first steps and immediately fell, I never thought, “Uh oh, they are going to be crawlers for the rest of their lives!” That would be crazy! Instead, I clapped, cheered them on, encouraged them to make the decision to stand up and try again.
My boys, last week, were awful. They didn’t behave appropriately AT ALL. In the world, some would even argue that I didn’t need to ask them to forgive me, because if they hadn’t been that way, I wouldn’t have lost my temper to begin with.
But I don’t live in the world!
I live to serve a Lord who shows me daily, what it means to offer undeserved favor; to offer forgiveness when it’s not earned.
How can I accept undeserved favor while being unwilling to offer it?
So my boys and I hugged, and said our “I’m sorrys” and talked about what God would want from us and how we can be better and tomorrow is a new day!
I, for one, am so thankful for “daily bread” and for “new mercies” I am so thankful that when I say I’m sorry, please forgive me, like my sweet boys, He tenderly hugs me, says “that’s Ok” and I can try again.
-Kristen Taylor / Visit Bio in About Tab